It's so definite, you know? Like, what if I decide to change the content of what I write about? You are all going to hold me to this title I chose at two in the morning in a fit of creative desperation.
But I guess that's also a metaphor for how I operate in life. Hesitant, paralyzed, anxiety-ridden, until finally I take a huge leap forward and look around for approval, all the while appearing like I've totally got it together.
Damn, even the word choice of "metaphor" is making me nervous. That was a metaphor, right?
Like moving to LA, for example. I spent my whole life telling myself I would graduate school and move to New York City and try to make it on Broadway (you have to emphasize the "way" when you imagine me saying that), and then senior year was one massive freak-out that my imaginary head-life was not in tune with how I would like my physical life to be, and I decide to start making smart choices and utilize all my faculties and go to LA and be a comedy writer first. Because, hey, two unstable careers are better than one. So then I get to LA and get a great introductory job as a writers' PA for a sitcom (thanks, Yale). But then it comes time to actually write in my free-time, and I'm like, fuck, am I doing this right? Am I even a writer? And the more I ask myself that, the stupider my ideas become.
So here's a self-validating blog for all of us out there who aren't exactly sure what we're supposed to be doing with our lives. Tell us about what you're considering to be your best shot at life post-college, and tell us about the variations on if that's working. Let's all struggle through this together.
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